The Beautiful Struggle
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Brittany

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[02 Aug 2006|10:26pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

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( 5)are struggling beautifully

[29 Jul 2006|02:28pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

I have been reading old entries [really slowly..one took me like three days to finish.] Its so weird how much I have grown. Its good though, I dont regret anything. Im up to the band trip in freshman year [of course that is the one that took me three days to read] and it's so funny because now that I read it, I see how much I liked Alain as soon as we met. I bet when I was writing that entrie, I never even thought that me and him would be going out, and happy together.

Well its 2:30 which leaves me a half hour to get to work.. so I guess perhaps I will finish this thought later? Maybe even leave as is and start a new one =P

( 5)are struggling beautifully

[26 Jul 2006|08:50pm]
[ mood | inspired ]

inspiration of some sortCollapse )

( 2)are struggling beautifully

[26 Jul 2006|12:01am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Im tired of customers making thizz faces at me because they think I make the store policys! What the fuck?! I really dont care what the hell you do..I follow the rules, I enforce the rules, because if I dont I get in trouble and eventually loose my job.

Today I was in the front of the store, also known as a greeter. It wasn't bad. I was just tired. Some girl came in with a drink and I am supposed to tell people "no food or drinks in the store" Well she actually walked past me without me noticing, but didnt get very far because Degrace saw her and told her that there is no food or drink allowed in the store and she told her where the nearest garbage can was. Well after that Degrace left and the stupid girl decides to keep her drink [which was almost gone anyway!] in her hand and look at clothing. So I said "excuse me you really cant drink in here" Well, here comes the thizz face, along with some bitching about how its bullshit and its in her hand? Uhm... I know its in your hand..its not supposed to be in your hand its supposed to be in the garbadge! fuckin bitch. So her mom sees all this and she is like "Ill take it Ill take it" So you would think the mother is taking it to go outside and hold it for her. Totally not the case. So I repeat myself "the drink cannot be in the store ma'm." and she replies "Im holding it im holding it!" so i say, "I understand that but if my manager sees you walking around the store with a drink in your hand I will get in a lot of trouble." she says, "No dont worry about it im holding it" WTF?! so then finally her bratty ass daughter picks out the capris she wants takes the drink and tells her mom she will wait outside and mumbles about how she has to wait outside because she has a drink in her hand...meanwhile im mumbling how much I hate people and how ignorant they are.

Oh yea and about 10 mins after that happens, a lady has her screaming child right next to our store. When i say screaming you are probably thinking mediocre cries because said child did not get soemthing she wanted. No no no my friends..you would have thought this kid was being stabbed to death in the middle of the mall... Im talking ear peircing shreiks, right by my fucking store! UGHH! and it went on for about 5 minutes, until finally the lady walked away from the store..who knows how long that kid was screaming but i got a fucking migrane from it. I felt sick after hearing that shit. I was so pissed. What the hell did she possibly do that the kid was crying like taht? I seriously never in my life have heard a cry like that.

I bought a really cute jean material skirt today..its fitting at the top and then a few inches from my butt it kind of flares out. Its soo pretty I love it.
I am hopefully going to find a shirt to match tomorrow.

struggling beautifully

[24 Jul 2006|05:13pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Well this is the most surprising thing about my weekend: We got out at 10:30 .. 10:30 is suprising in the first place but get this..it was a fuckin saturday =].

Last night we got out around 7 which is also really good. im really liking this getting out early stuff, but i shan't get use to it.

Chrisabelle is on vacation for the week so im more relaxed at work.

Last night was amazing. I mean..everynight with Alain is but last night was even more special. I guess because we are home bodies and we dont go out much we just hang out around the house. Last night we went to The Bus Stop diner [they give you so much fuckin food! n for good prices =]] and then we went home watched tv and went to sleep... I dont know... I had so much fun though. He let me drive 5 blocks away from my house. Well i havent drove since driving school so I was freaking out a little bit. he had to grab the steering wheel a couple of times. Now if I could just get him to let me drive a little more often maybe I wouldnt freak out so much?! lol..well maybe I wore him down to the point that he will let me drive more =]? Hopefully.

I dont know what it is about spending money that appeals to me so much.. I bought a Baby Name book and I dont know why I did it. It was only 9 dollars though..and its fun to read.

dont know what else to say for now.

Im workin on the floor tonigh.. dresses&sweats. That should be fun.. it wasnt bad last time I did it.

mmm i loves me some air condition =]

( 2)are struggling beautifully

[17 Jul 2006|09:53am]
[ mood | cranky ]

So work has been...work.

Last night Alain came over after work. His asshole self called me up and said "Brit..I can't come tonight." and i was like "WTF! You KNOW that Sunday is OUR night!" and he said "i know but my aunt told me I cant go out tonight...im sorry" and i said "NO! I dont care you should have told her because you know Sunday night is for us!" and I hung up the phone. Less than two minutes later I hear a knock on my door and Natalie tell someone I am upstairs. Then I hear footsteps up the stairs and his voice say "Britt?" AHH! I was gunna kill him! lol but I still love him...cant stay mad at him.

Anyway, I really want to know what is wrong with people lately? To much killing, stealing, hurting. I know its been like this for years, but why does it seem like things keep happening more often around here lately.

Well first of all, In Carteret, for those of you who dont know, someone got shot 2 days ago. It was right by the High School.
Some guy from here came out to Newark and shot some guys brother, so then people from Newark came out here looking for him but they couldnt find him so they went to his brother's house, busted down his door and shot him in front of his family. =\. They said that if they dont find the guy who shot his brother soon they are going to keep coming to Carteret and shooting people till they find him.
THats fucked up shit.

Also, our store got a memo today saying that a girl, in broad daylight, was attacked by 3 guys, and they stole her car...

UGGGGH. so now I cant be safe here or at work. Fuckers.!

Well anyway, so yesturday, coming out of work, our boss told us to stay together. So I stayed with Adrian waiting for her ride.. [we are both minors which means we both get out at 11 on regular nights, so it is the smartest thing for us to stick together because we have to on regular nights anyway.] Anyway, this car of a bunch of guys drove by and parked inside the hidden entrance where we get out [also right by where we were] They were loud and obnoxious and there was 3 of them so we decided to be safe and wait in my mother's car. Then her step father called and he said he was at the mall. So we watched Adrian look for him when she got out of the car. Well he was talking a little bit of time, and these 2 guys came out of the car and started walking toward her. I was thinking they were going to Applebees because that is still open later then the mall on Sunday nights, so I didnt think anything of it, until I saw them say somehting to her. Then [thank god] her ride came..and here is the scarry part, the two guys started walking back to their car! wtf! so today I have to remember to ask her what they had said to her.

Yup.

struggling beautifully

[15 Jul 2006|12:18pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Alain came over yesturday. Well he picked me up from sarahs house [we had a little mini barbeque] and dropped me home where we chilled till I had to go to work. I love when he brings me to work but at the same time I hate it. I love it because its extra time with him and because it makes me feel special when he brings me..idk like that im still worth doing things for? lol after 2 years, little things still matter, trust me. I hate it because its so hard for me to leave him and go into the store. Dont get me wrong I like my new job a lot, but i love my boyfriend =P. Idk..I have this thing where I feel guilty, like I think to myself "I could be spending the rest of the day with him, but no, im leaving him for stupid work!" I know its not like he takes it personaly [he'd be weird to] but idk it still upsets me. *shrugs* Im weird I know. So yea I got a bit sad when we said goodbye[when dont i?]

Work wasn't too bad. She put me in the dressing room for the past two days which is pretty cool. I like the change because being on register every time I work was getting annoying. I don't know..I got tired of it, and its just so hectic because at times there are like 5 people in back of the tiny register, all the while your getting screamed at because a costumer doesn't want to sign her/his credit card! ugh! it can get crazy. So yea I liked the change of pace. Although the dressing room can get hectic when your trying to strip the new shipment, the dressing room is full and people are throwing clothes at you that dont have the hangers on them. Eh, take the good and take the bad [and then you have the facts of life =P].

So ive been really tired and I guess i should nap before going to work [at 3! =[] because today is saturday and saturdays are alway crazy. =[ blehh i hate working saturdays..every saturday. I wonder what Ill be doing? There are two girls that will be there today that usually do dressing room so I probably wont be doing that.. but i dont think there is room for me on register either? bleh who knows.

struggling beautifully

[13 Jul 2006|12:24pm]
[ mood | tired ]

How about I just got done watching Project Runway and I absolutely loooooove Michael Knight <3 omg! I think he is the best designer-to-be on the show. I wasnt crazy about his runway dress [i think thats because I was expecting more from him] though it wasnt to bad and it was a good idea. What really really struck me was his audition. I dont know why Tim Gunn was being so mean to him! Thank God for Chloe standing up for him. I think maybe Tim Gunn didnt like him because of the way he presented himself. I think he should have probably toned down the 'ghetto' of the way he was talking and took a more professional approach. Yet and still, I loooove him. His Dresses were so nice, especial the Muslin one..who the hell can make something that nice from MUslin!? I think his idea of taking past challenges was clever. Tim Gunn disappointed me in the way that he was acting.. Oh well. Team Michael!

More on Project Runway for those who are interested, under the cut so that I dont clutter people's friend pages that dont like project runway with words that are useless to themCollapse )


Today has just pretty much consisted of watching Project Runway so far. I have work at 6 [when dont I?] I have a feeling today will be spent reading magazines and perhaps talking on the phone. maybe sleeping also. I didnt get much sleep.

struggling beautifully

[12 Jul 2006|04:27pm]
[ mood | restless ]

I saw Alain yesturday. I am glad that we are seeing each other more. He was supposed to come this morning but I think he had to watch his cousins for his aunt. It's hard to make plans for morning [which is why it sucks so much that i work at night]. But yea last night was great =].

Actually, yesturday was a good day all in all. I woke up and called Tiffany, Dijah had slept over and they invited me over to come chill...so we hung out at tiffs for awhile and then decided to go to dijahs house and swim.

We watched movies at dijah's after swimming and then I got a call from my mom at 8, mad at me for not making dinner. Oops..it slipped my mind really. So I rushed home, but on the way I ran into Devin, so we talked for a bit.

Got home, made dinner and by the time I was done, Alain came over =].

Im hoping that even though we couldnt hang out this morning maybe he can give me a ride to work?

Today on the other hand..is dragging. What day that I work doesnt drag? I always feel like my day is shot when I have work, even though i dont have to be in until 6. I dont know..so I have been eating, sleeping and talking on the phone al day, with the occasional reading of a few articles in my new Cosmo. Nothing special..at all..I hate it.
I really really really hope she gives me two days off next week because this one day off a week thing isnt really working out for me.

<lj-cut text="Survey stolen from Ann> TEN EMOTIONS. 1. are you missing someone right now?: yes 2. are you happy: I dont really have a feeling right now..i just feel lazy and rushed and bleh. So i guess not. Its not like im sad though. 3. are you talking to anyone right now: no. just got off the phone with jen 4. are you bored: yes 5. are you german: nein 6. are you irish: no 7. are you french: no 8. are you Italian: no 9. are your parents still married: yes. 10. do you like someone right now: no i love him <3 TEN FAVORITES. 1. televison show: oh theres many. Desperate Housewives, Project Runway, Rescue Me, Last Comic Standing..and many more but I dont want to bore you with names so I gave you the first 4 that came to my head. 2. flower: roses or lilys 3. color: green yellow and red 4. sport: soccer 5. mall: woodbridge. well menlo now that i am at woodbridge everyday =\ 6. music: hmm..i guess r&b 7. food: im a sucker for taco bell. 8. season: fall/winter 9. animal: Lions 10. state: New York TEN FACTS. 1. hometown: carteret 2. hair color: dark brown 4. hair style: long and wavy [i prefer it straight] 5. eye color: steel blue 6. shoe size: 8 or 81/2 7. mood: restless 8. orientation: straight 9. available?: nope 10. lefty/righty: right-handed TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE. 1. have you ever been in love: yes 2. do you believe in love: yes 3. why did your last relationship fail: we were not in love and he liked someone else. 4. have you ever been heartbroken: in a sence, but they were mostly personal issues that just came to surface because of a guy. 5. have you ever broken someone's heart? i really dont know. i dont think so. 6. have you ever fallen for your best friend: no 7. have you ever liked someone but never told them: yes 8. are you afraid of commitment: not at all..im afraid of not commiting. 9. have you ever kissed someone you liked: yes 10. have you ever had a secret admirer: not that i know of. TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT. 1. love or lust: love 2. hard liquor or beer: hard liquor 3. night or day: night 4. one night stands or relationships: relationships 5. television or internet: hmm. thats hard. internet i suppose. 6. pepsi or coke: neither. I love flavored soda like orange, grape, pinapple ect. 7. wild night out or romantic night in: romantic night in 8. colored pictures or black and white pictures: can't choose depends on the picture 9. phone or in person: in person 10. aim or myspace: aim TEN HAVE Y0U EVER. 1. have you ever been caught sneaking out: no. 2. have you ever skinny dipped: nope 3. have you ever done something you regret: yes 4. have you ever bungee jumped: no 5. have you ever been on a house boat: no 6. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker: yes 7. have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt: yes 8. have you ever been caught by your parents with a hickey? no 9. have you ever danced in the rain?: yeah 10. have you ever had a hang over?: no </lj-cut>

struggling beautifully

[11 Jul 2006|12:26am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Yesturday [sunday] was amazing. Well..i went to work which is not so amazing. It wasnt that bad though. When I first got there they had me outside the store watching the clothes on our sidewalk sale, after that i had register for the whole night and cleaning but it wasnt bad at all. not very busy.

Anyway.. what really matters about last night was that I saw Alain <3 I was scared all day that he was going to call and say that he couldnt make it but he came and we ordered pizza and chilled. I love him so much, and hopefully Ill be seeing him tomorrow on my day off..if so, i cant wait =]

Today I walked to Wachovia, and set up my account. Afterwards I walked down to the shopping center to wait for Sarah because we were going to eat Blimpie but it was still a bit early. I decided to go into payless and look at some shoes. I saw a couple of nice pairs..i love trying on shoes =]. After that I went to Rainbow but nothing really caught my eye at all. THen finally Sarah called me but she said she had to go to Little Ferry because she left tiagos wallet in the restaurant there last nite. SO we went to Tiago's house first and he decided to come and so we went in his car. After that was done me and sarah were trying hard as hell to find The Collusium diner but it just wasnt workin out, so we settled upon blimpie again.

Took a nap when I got home, only to be rudely awakened by a phone call, then it got late and became time to go to work =\

Work wasnt so bad..wasnt busy at all..

all in all it was a very good 2 days.

but that doenst take away the fact that im tired. =P

struggling beautifully

[08 Jul 2006|11:46pm]
[ mood | scatterbrained ]

k so this entrie may be a bit randomly thrown together, because all my thoughts and my memory are scatterbrained. Once again it is probably the 9th but im basing it off of the 8th. Get it? got it? great.

*I love Alain [but you all already know that] and today is our 23 months... and in exactly a month will be our 2 year anniversary

*I have finally, after about 2 years of having a new email adress, notified LJ and have had my default email changed. Which is good, because now I can finally know when people reply to comments i give them, and I can reply when needed. I feel bad because sometimes I forget to check in, its so much easier when your email tells you. I forgot about that little lj wonder. heh. so much more convienient.

*I now remember something quite unusual? interesting maybe? about my week. I believe it was July 5th? Tiffany and I decided to walk to Wachovia so I could set up a bank account, well unfortunitly I did not have proper identitfication [they dont accept birth certificates and ssc! go figure!] so depressed and downhearted we walked to blimpie to have some fullfillment in the form of food. We went to the dollar store afterward...bought some candy, and two[for a dollar] ponchos [blue n white..for a lil school spirit bitches] Mind you, it rained pretty hard that morning, so, even though it was no longer raining we got the ponchos.. before we left the house though, tiffany decided to bring these rediculous looking hats..no idk what to call them actually..they had elastic for your head and then attached to it was an umbrella [look ma no hands!]. So we had the bright Idea to walk around with those hats and ponchos on, though the rain was now long gone. Let me tell you... ponchos+heat=baaaaad sweating. We got on Lexington? ave..and we decided that we wanted to show someone because we are assholes and what is a funny idea if no one is witnessing it? So we called Ken..[how random] to see if he was home, he wasnt, he was actually a block down from my house..so i was like fuck it im gunna see you! and he was just confused because I was like "i need to see you im coming im coming" so who knows whats running through his mind.. On our way we decided to be even more of assholes and walk on main roads. Thats right, in front of the fucking high school..haha we striked our poses around the carteret high school board that tells you whats going on in the school...too bad there was no cameras. I waved to a student driver car and the teacher was not impressed at all...he actually looked pissed. I mean dude..lighten up..i would be histerical if i was him and he was me. So anyway, after several blocks we finally get to Danny's house [where ken was] and I tell him to come outside and when they get outside they are like " WTF!!??" hehe.. and i was soo damn hot that i TORE my poncho off [its just plastic] and there was sweat allllll over my shirt...[my shirt was on of those shirts that detect even the smallest amount of sweat..so of course there was A LOT. They made fun of us because they said we are stupid because plastic ponchos capture heat and so you sweat a hell of a lot more. They swore we were high, and though I protested many many times, i should have just agreed and said i was because... what kind of asshole actually walks around with ponchos and umbrella hats in there right mind? willingly? in front of many many people who they might know. Oh well thats me..youll always think im under the influence of something, and i never really am. =P
So anyway, i was burning up..no time to talk...so i jumped into dannys pool with my clothes on, and so did tiffany. Haha it was sooo much fun..but kind of awkward because it was me and tiff in the pool and ken and danny just watching us...the fuckers wouldnt come in. Yepp..just figured id share my weird day.

^^^well that was a long ass story..i dont even want to update anymore. lol
but i will =D

*I saw Cinderella story..and actually like it..sorta kinda a lot..I dont know why. Stupid things interest me, and thats one of them. I actually want to see it again. whats wrong with me? Im not actually that sure but Ill let you know when I find out. Well w/e i think it was really cute. so shut up.

* PROJECT FUCKING RUNWAY IS COMING BACKKk! YES MOTHERFUCKERS YES! haha im so happy... i love that show and Rescue me and Last Comic Standing are great...but they both come on Wednesday and I need more shows to rely on [just in case there is a sucky episode of 2 shows one week or something]. Idk hard to explain..but im fucking ecstatic. You eizer een or ouut.

* I absolutely love Phil Collins' music <3

* i forgot what else I wanted to say..

( 4)are struggling beautifully

[08 Jul 2006|12:52pm]
Sorry for lack of updates. My internet has not been working. I will be in the process of reading everyone's entries today...whether if finish by 2:30 or if i have to continue at 11.


Not much has gone on. Well yea a fair amount has but I cant remember anything. So much for a reviving update...perhaps a real one later..

PS..the "sizzling summer sidewalk sale" can kiss my sizzling ass.
struggling beautifully

[04 Jul 2006|12:23am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

[update for July 3rd. so when I say 'today' i mean July 3rd. and when i say 'tomorrow' that means July 4th and if by any chance I decide to put a 'yesturday' in there somewhere..well you get the point.]

I won't start this entrie off cursing my brains out..though a lot of curses are in mind right now, because that is not how my day started out at all.

This morning/afternoon, was really good. Alain came over and we hung out. Watched TV, slept, the usual [which I dont mind at all..id give up all my unusuals for 24/7 usuals with him =]] and at 4 he brang me to the mall [today Cris scheduled me for 5]. We walked around the mall, he bought me water and we just hung out until I had to go to "Joycy Levits' to start my wonderful shift.

Well if you are guessing that this is where the bad part comes in...then you are right. I do a bunch of shit that I wont get into because it is uncessisary and boring..then cris calls me in to count money. We started talking and she told me that the mall is crazy busy today. Well I figured that maybe it was like a Friday..busier then most days but not as bad as Saturdays. Hah. Boy was I in for a suprise.

I got so fustrated tonight. It seemed that everyone was taking things so personally. I really do not understand why everything has to be about race. Is our culture [united states culture] so mixed up and self concious that everyhting has to resort to "She/he is treating me like this because I am [incert ethnicity here]"??
For example. This is an incident from tonight that really sticks out in my mind because it shook me up pretty badly..my nerves must have been on edge after she left for about an hour. I ring up this lady and she hands me a credit card. For those who do not know; Joyce Leslie company policy states that all credit cards used must be signed. So I take the card and tell her it needs to be signed, she hands me her police liscence and gives me the credit card again..so i tell her that though I saw her license I still need her to sign the back. So she starts yelling at me saying "I am about to walk the fuck out of this store then! i dont sign credit cards!" and her friend is joining in on it. Finally I get her to sign the damn peice of plastic.

Before I go any further I should tell you how our credit card system is set up. We have to turn our backs to the register/costumer and walk about 2 feet to a credit card terminal. Then after everything is done at the terminal, we have to go back to register and swipe the card.

So I go toward the terminal and they start talking about me. Saying that if one of my 'little white friends' came to the store and gave me an unsigned credit card then I would let them go. [which isnt true either because company policy tells me i cant even ring up my 'little white friends'] Anyway, they say that along with some other remarks that where a bit hurtful and insinuations that i am a racist [which, if you know me, you know that is one of the biggest things that will set me off because it is somehting I am completely against]. I come back to the register to swipe and her friend is trying to grab the credit card out of my hand. I tell her calmly to wait a second when I swipe it then i give it to her and i bag there clothes. they say that they arent coming back that the store is rediculous ect. ect. And what am I thinking? GOOD FUCKING RIDANCE.

So anyway..the point of my story is that it is pretty fucked up to think that just because you are white, spanish, black, asian blue green ect. people are out to get you and make your life harder. ITs funny actually, because while she is over there thinking I am the biggest white supremisist in the world, I am thinking about going home and talking to my black boyfriend..who i am completely and utterly in love with...and whose race never got in the way of anything between us [aside from remarks from ignorant people..but i mean me and him ..fuck outside forces..]

Seriously, why does everything have to be about race? why cant people just accept a damn company policy without thinking that I am trying to make there life harder just because they are of different pigment.

Why is it that when someone wants to return something without a receit and I cant do it[once again company policy], its automatically because I dont want to help a girl who isnt the same color as me.

Why would I possibly change a sale because your spanish? [buy one get one half off..i rang her up half off the lesser value .. isnt that with all stores? well it doesnt matter..thats our store policy anyway.]

Yes all this happened today. It really really annoys me that people can be so ignorant to think that I say or do things because i am discriminating against them.

Its funny how a cop...who should know a thing or too about security and policys can go so crazy over a security measure in a store. SHouldnt she be one of the main ones who think that stores have these policys? Shouldnt she be for it not against it..and not questioning me about it? Didnt she realize that if i didnt make her sign just because shes a cop i would have to let other people off the hook for signing. I dont care who you are or what you do or if your skin color is green.. you have to do it. God forbid she was a crooked cop..and plenty of them exist. God forbid the store sent her in there to make sure that I was doing my job, and doing it right. It had nothing to do with skin, why couldnt she see that.

Racism is an epidemic..and its effecting people that are totally against it. People who want nothing to do with it. Mainly, the people who say that a person is doing somemthing to them because of the color of their skin..they are usualy the racist ones.

Ugh idk...I just feel so sick after working today. The place was a mess..people were yelling and screaming and acting crazy..ive had all i can take for the night.

If tomorrow is anything like this...ugh i dont even want to think of tomorrow being like this.

today was worse then a saturday and if you have ever worked in the mall... then i bet you feeel really bad for me.

This song makes me happy though..its really uplifting..i was so happy when it came on in the store..it made me feel good for that little bit of time. Kirk Franklin--looking for you

( 4)are struggling beautifully

[02 Jul 2006|10:52am]
[ mood | impatient ]

The bad thing about having to go to work mid day is that I don't know how to get ready. I woke up at 8:50, panicky, praying that I did not over sleep. Luckily I have work at 12 today not nine. lol I could have sworn it was like late 11 or 12 though..it just felt like it. Anyway, I was like "oh this is good. I can sleep more" so I kept going in and out of a sleep scared shitless that I would oversleep. So I decided "fuck this" and I read until about 9:30 ish [i really didnt fall asleep much longer. Usually 1 minuit of sleep feels like 3 hours.I dont know why], when I decided to get my ass up into a nice quick shower.

After said shower I found something to wear, got my make up and hair done and now i have a half hour to slack off and do nothing. My timing is never good. Then the whole driving thing. I always leave a half hour early and get there 10 mins before punch time.. oh well..I cant always get what I want. Im not about to take chances and come 10 minutes late. You never know with traffic and stuff.

So i guess I am off to read till 11:30. This entry was pointless but I felt like ranting about me having no sense of time. yupp.

A real update is probably later on tonight or early tomorrow...

struggling beautifully

[01 Jul 2006|01:14am]
[ mood | lethargic ]

I had a good first part of the day. Woke up, took a shower, and Sarah stopped over for a bit and chilled. Then when she left I took a nap, talked on the phone with Tiffany. Alain finally called around 1 I guess? and he was like "should I just come in or wait for you to oopen the door" so I told him to just open it and we hung out till 5:30 when I had to leave to go to work. He couldnt drive me because he had to pick up his cousin from school, bummer..but no big deal, I am just happy I got to see him. I had a lot of fun with him. I cannot wait to just be done with school so that we can move in together and shit. Then this whole confusing scheduling shit wouldnt get in the way so much. Who knows..I better start saving up now though because our jobs arent that great. apartment wise. heh.

So I arrive at "joycy Levits" 10 minutes early. Punched in, contemplated going to the bathroom or not and then decided against it [only god knows why..] Came out of the back room and my boss called me over to wear she was. It was pretty funny because she was on a tall latter just sitting there. Heh. So I go to her and she tells me to watch some lady because she suspects her..so I pretended to be fixing stuff but i was really waching her. Anyway, Im pretty sure she got the hint because she started to leave, and im not sure but my manager might have caught her? I really dont know..I didnt want to be nosey.
Anyway, i think the girl that started the same day I did quit. I am almost positive. I dont think she could take all the yelling from Cris and I heard that her father and Cris got into an argument? Oh well..none of my buisness. Just kind of upsetting to see someone go.
Speaking of people going! Marks name is off his locker now =[. So it's official..he is gone. I got a bit sad. that is the depressing part of jobs, you get so attached to people or develop good bonds and friendships with them, and thenthey get transferred or something. Not saying we were that close or anything, lol, but he was really cool, and he was the one that trained me, so I did want to get to know him better and stuff by working together. Eh. Oh well. Shit happens. Ill miss coming into the store and being greeted by his friendly face. he was so sweet.
Well toward the end of work things started to go downhill. Cris was really stressed out about a bunch of things.. and I kept making stupid mistakes, which didnt make anything any better for her or me. At one point I didnt do all the requirements for when we get a 100 dollar bill and she was like "do you enjoy working at this store?!. cause if you dont want to be fired i suggest you start following the rules! or your gunna be off my registers!" I got a bit upset, but I got over it. I think she senced my sadness because then she started to calm down more and talk to me on a normal level and joke around with me a bit too.

All in all the very end of the night was good. i got my check and got the hell out of joyce leslie. Then tiff called and we went to BnE and chilled for a bit. Not bad. Not bad.

struggling beautifully

[30 Jun 2006|11:08am]
[ mood | all mixed up ]

Am I really as weak as I think I am? Because if so, I am really damn pathetic.

Read more...Collapse )

I'm feeling emotional lately. My mom keeps telling me to clean and I will wake up with all the intentions to do it but I just can't bring myself to actually do it.

Don't you hate when someone says a bunch of shit like "i miss you. i miss being best friends. i miss being close" and then they dont act on it. They still don't call, they still don't make plans with you and when you attempt to talk to them by instant messaging them they just ignore you, and you know damn well they are there? yupp. I have news for you, actions speak waaay louder then words. Which is why i didnt reply to you when you said that. It takes a lot more then words to mend a broken friendship.

( 1)are struggling beautifully

[29 Jun 2006|09:32am]
Waiting for Alain...so im bored..

survey stolen from AnnCollapse )
struggling beautifully

[27 Jun 2006|12:32am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I miss him like crazy. haha. I hate being in love, but I love it. Love is so weird..yeahh ..anyway. yesturday when he came over I stole his shirt and i gave him one of mine that i thought would look really good on him, and it did..haha trust me i know my baby =]. So yea..basically I still have it and Im sleeping in it tonight, just like last night. Cause I feel safer and he feels not so far away. [not that where he lives is that far anyhow] but yea..just felt like sharing.
When You're Not Here (I Sleep In Your T-Shirt)
I Wish You Were Here (To Take Off Your T-Shirt)
After We Make Love (I Sleep In Your T-Shirt)
Wake Up In Your T-Shirt,
Still Smell The Scent Of Your Cologne
When I Need Your Feel (I Sleep In Your T-Shirt)
I Need Help (To Take Off Your T-Shirt)
After We Make Love (I Sleep In Your T-Shirt)
Wake Up In Your T-Shirt,
Still Smell The Scent Of Your Cologne


Today was bleh. I feel hot n sticky in my house. I hate "nice" weather, where my mom swears theres a breeze in the house because she refuses to have the ac on ..and i need cold. I need very cold..i dont do breezes! Maybe shed understand this better if she was in our hot house all day..but no shes in a airconditioned office and then comes home at night when it is more breezer then the day time [still not breezy enough in my opinion]. Ugh. It bothers.

I had work today 6-11. Nothing special really. At all. Just got pissed off numerous of times.. for numerous reasons. Im really sick of people with attitudes.I jsut want to backhand them all. All them fucking sourfaces. Fuckas.
*le sigh*
Just another day in "Joycy Levits"

( 2)are struggling beautifully

[25 Jun 2006|11:41pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

With these ropes tied tight, can we do no wrong?

Today was chill as hell. I woke up around 11am, no work today =] so i called Jen and asked her if she would like to go to the mall with me and she said ok. I was going for a few new shirts to wear to work..but..i didnt have much luck. Instead i got one shirt [that ill prolly never wear to work] it was a coral? shirt that says England and has a soccer ball n shit on it..lol im a loser but i love it, no idea why. I also bought, undies =] a nude bra, and a pinapple scented candle. Somehow that stuff, lunch, and a magazine came to my last dollar out of 100. I think it was pretty much the bra that brought me down so much. Damn victoria's secret. damn it to hell! lol. Well, actually, the bra was deff. a necissity because I havent been able to wear a lot of nice shirts i own because you can see my black bra through them! and i only own black ones! so yea..technically that bought me about 5 shirts. Not a bad deal..but im done tlaking about my undergarments..sorry to all the guys reading this =P...and everyone else who is like wtf stop talking about your boobies! haha. Yes they are real and they are fabulous!...had to do it...sorry.

About 15 mins after getting home from the mall Alain comes through the door =] happy happy happy! so we chilled for a long while in my room and then we decided to go to taco bell for me, and burgerking for him and bring the food home to watch The Omen [bootlegged bitch!].

I wasnt crazy about the movie. I guess I was expecting a whole lot more. Some parts were like =O whoa! but for the most part it was slightly less then mediocre. I guess "horror" movies are really not my thing. I was happy none the less, because I was spending time with my baby in his arms. Thats all I really care about.

So yea. Very good day =]

( 1)are struggling beautifully

[23 Jun 2006|11:56pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

I love Cris [my boss] she is the most hillarious woman I have ever met. She is even funny when she is not trying to be..and whats more she scares the shit out of me..which makes her all the more likeable. She is officially my role model..no joke. I love that woman. The last half hour of work tonight we just talked to her and joked around..she really is cool peoples once you talk to her.

I know you all are probably getting tired of hearing about work and my co workers and stuff, but too bad. Right now that is pretty much my life, and I actually dont mind it at all =P.

I really want to kill my computer though. It keeps closing this window, or making it go back or switching the page. Thank god for auto save, but even with that, it is really starting to irritate me.

Summer is going pretty well. Even though I work during most nites I see Alain and friends during the day, so its not like im void of a social life. I have a happy balance. And what more could I ask for? Im not loosing my life, and Im making money for doing something I dont mind doing. Im working with clothes people! and the people i work with are pretty damn cool.

This computer on the other hand is really really making me crazy and stopping me from updating as thorough as I want. So basically let me some it up: things are back to normal with me and him so keep hating bitches cause we are still the best couple on the block =] and always will be! =]. My friends are pretty chill and to the ones that dont care enough to call, talk online, check if im still alive, ect..i really dont give a shit, kiss my ass, Im still stayin fly and I have plenty of friends without you anyway =]. And dont use the fact that I have a job when your trying to explain why we dont talk first of all I dont care enough to hear explanations and secondly... its called an answer machine or a text message..use it sometime =] cause if you really wanted to chill or talk you would use it.

K so ill stop there because this computer is really pissing me off..how many more times can LJ possible auto save this entry before it curses me out? Ill leave you off with a quote from a comedian from Last Comic Standing:
"Now thats a sucky moment right there. When your computer starts asking you computer questions."
heh heh. so true.

struggling beautifully

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